My Turkish Sweet Sixteen
Leave it to Matt Drudge to give this whole pesky "Bird Flu Pandemic" a heart:
Bird flu, shmird shmlu, what IS it like being socially alienated from your peers in Turkey?
And now, for a very special episode of "My Turkish Sweet 16", or "Tatli On Alti":
Makbule: Oh My Allah, who are you going to invite to your "Sweet Sixteen", Söğüda?
Söğüda: Allah, I don't know! So far I've invited Yağmur, Dilruba, Boğaçhan, and Çağatay.
Jülide: You invited Çağatay?! You have such a crush on him!
Söğüda: I do not!
Makbule: Oh my Allah, you so do. Everyone knows.
Jülide: What about Kevser?
Söğüda: No way! Kevser only had one shoe on during prayer yesterday... it's like, Hello, Kevser! Buy another shoe already. He is so poor, I hate him.
Makbule: Allah, totally. Did you invite Zülal?
Söğüda: Zülal? Are you serious?
Jülide: Uh, Makbule, haven't you heard?
Makbule: Heard what...
Jülide: Zülal totally has BIRD FLU!
Makbule: What?!
Jülide: Yeah! Have you been living under a sallamak or something? She was playing with some chicken heads in her Papa's masonry shoppe and got BIRD FLU. I swear to Allah.
Makbule: Allah, I had no idea.
Söğüda: I tell you this much: If that BITCH Zülal thinks she can show up at MY party, with BIRD FLU, she is wrong! I will BEAT HER ASS if she brings her chicken-coughing ugly-effing FACE in my 16th BIRTHDAY PARTY! My father did not pay 5.7 billion to the 5th power Lira to have all 14,000 guests end up a national news headline. Bitch will die. I swear to Allah.
(Jülide and Makbule share an uncomfortable glance)
Jülide and Makbule (overlapping): Yeah... bi-bitch... bitch deserves it... yeah.
Zülal: She just wants to be loved.
Bird flu, shmird shmlu, what IS it like being socially alienated from your peers in Turkey?
And now, for a very special episode of "My Turkish Sweet 16", or "Tatli On Alti":
Makbule: Oh My Allah, who are you going to invite to your "Sweet Sixteen", Söğüda?
Söğüda: Allah, I don't know! So far I've invited Yağmur, Dilruba, Boğaçhan, and Çağatay.
Jülide: You invited Çağatay?! You have such a crush on him!
Söğüda: I do not!
Makbule: Oh my Allah, you so do. Everyone knows.
Jülide: What about Kevser?
Söğüda: No way! Kevser only had one shoe on during prayer yesterday... it's like, Hello, Kevser! Buy another shoe already. He is so poor, I hate him.
Makbule: Allah, totally. Did you invite Zülal?
Söğüda: Zülal? Are you serious?
Jülide: Uh, Makbule, haven't you heard?
Makbule: Heard what...
Jülide: Zülal totally has BIRD FLU!
Makbule: What?!
Jülide: Yeah! Have you been living under a sallamak or something? She was playing with some chicken heads in her Papa's masonry shoppe and got BIRD FLU. I swear to Allah.
Makbule: Allah, I had no idea.
Söğüda: I tell you this much: If that BITCH Zülal thinks she can show up at MY party, with BIRD FLU, she is wrong! I will BEAT HER ASS if she brings her chicken-coughing ugly-effing FACE in my 16th BIRTHDAY PARTY! My father did not pay 5.7 billion to the 5th power Lira to have all 14,000 guests end up a national news headline. Bitch will die. I swear to Allah.
(Jülide and Makbule share an uncomfortable glance)
Jülide and Makbule (overlapping): Yeah... bi-bitch... bitch deserves it... yeah.
Zülal: She just wants to be loved.
posted by Michelle Collins on
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
