"Daily Conversations" with Michelle and Mom

My cat Lutzy, cooling down on the marble. He suffers from the chronic "hot crotch syndrome." (To see more borderline porny shots, click here.)

The following is an exerpt of a conversation that occurs between my mother and I at least once a day, if not more often:

Mom: Yoy, de cat is here!
Me: Yoy! Lemme say hi!
Mom: Hehe. Hold on. (phone rustling)
(silence)
Me: Hi Lutzkoo! Yutzee! Hi baby!
(silence)
Me: (falsetto) Yutzkoo! Yoy, Yutzee hi baby!
(silence)
Me: (deep, mannish) Yutzy! (falsetto) Hi mami! Hi my baby!
(phone rustling)
Mom: (laughing) Hi.
Me: What was he doing?
Mom: He was smelling the phone.

Then, there's always this classic:

Mom: Say hi to the cat --
Me: Ma, I can't. I'm at work.
(phone rustling)
Me: Mom? Uch.
(silence)
(silence)
(rustling)
(silence)
Mom: Hello?
Me: What was he doing?
Mom: Smelling the phone.


My family, ladies and gentlemen.