You Dirty, Dirty Core

A Brief Love Story with an Apple


The initial attraction: Perfectly designed, inexpensive, what girl could resist?


I boldly make the first move.


Love at first bite: Oh god. Give me a second. That is so good. (note the costume change -- these motherfuckers are juicy!)


Then things started to get a little freaky.


Did someone say hand model? Consider it said.


Red AND Delicious? The perfect food. Give me a second, I need to breathe.


Spooning ensued.... then tenderness.


The requisite pillow talk. Can you tell I'm faking?


Things got awkward from there.


Look at it... what was I thinking?


Awkward Goodbye. Let's see other apples, etc. etc. blah blah blah. Always the hardest part.


Don't turn around -- just be brave and go. Picture blurry through tears of reminscing.


Down the stairs and out of my life forever.

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IN NEXT WEEK'S EPISODE:

MacIntosh returns.


Someone's been working out!


I contemplate my options... dignity or no diggity, I got to bag it up?


Stay tuned for what happens next!

Oh! This picture narrative reminds me...

I HEART INTERNET
TONIGHT
AT THE APPLE STORE SOHO
103 Prince Street
6:30-8:00 - FREE!!!

A TIME OUT NEW YORK PICK OF THE WEEK

Join me and co-host Chelsea Peretti for a hilarious journey through the internet, Apple products and their hearts... including special guests:

AD MILES
EUGENE MIRMAN
JAKE FOGELNEST

We've got a lot planned, and I'm drooling from exhaustion - watch the fireworks LIVE!