EMOTICONS THAT WOULD COME IN HANDY
WHILE MESSAGING MY FRIENDS FROM THE OFFICE

;<>    I’m Tired

:>I     I’m Bored

8(       Ivy League Degree of No Use in Real World

>:)      I Just Farted In My Cubicle

&:(     No New Jobs on MonsterTrak

8X      Just Got Ovarian Cancer From Xerox Machine Overload

>:u)    Went To The Bathroom, Didn't Wash My Hands,
            and Rubbed Them All Over My Boss's Keyboard

:u)      Office Hot Guy Passing Through

:U)     Office Hot Gay Guy Passing Through

X*0    Just Spoken To Like Retarded Third Grader, 
           Having Mini Panic Attack at How Cruel God Is

1: i      Cig Break

8^D    Just Stole $64.25 Worth of Supplies

:v(      One Sec, I'm On 2 Hour Long Distance Call to
            Half-Dead Aunt in Boca Raton

:u*)    Boss Has Food on Cheek, Can't Tell Her

:*<     Severed My Finger Fixing Copy Machine

:v()     Took Pregnancy Test In Office Bathroom Stall,
             Came Back Positive,  Have To Pretend Nothing is
             Wrong While I Try to Figure Out How to
             Support Unwanted Baby on Grossly Underpaid Salary

;?        I Think I Have Autism

:u>     I Need a Snack