Sexual Harassment: Part Ew
Many of you may remember a certain friend of mine who was being stalked by her co-worker, a married man with a child whose family is living on the other side of the world. Last we checked, he was asking her to the movies and creepily lurking around her foam-walled environs. (And for those of you wondering, yes, she ended up cancelling the "date".)
Lately he's taken to forwarding her numerous e-mails a day with hidden meanings, like "The Wind in the Trees", where "Wind" is code for his penis and "Trees", her vagina. And, of course, I plead with her to forward these things to me as 1. I find them funny and 2. No one's stalked me for ages. I mean the last time a stranger lured me into his van with a comically oversized lollipop was seriously years ago.
But today brought a real doozy to her inbox (so to speak), entitled "Why women think men are immature". This blog usually keeps it classy/freaky, and tries its best to avoid toilet humor, but given the context of the story, and the pictures that follow, I couldn't resist. Clearly, these pictures must indicate something work-related that he needs her to get done, right? Camman - they're completely professional! Let's take a look and analyze their business meanings, shall we?
"Pizza party in the conference room for Harold's 46th birthday. Topsiders optional."
"Thanks for your support on that conference call yesterday... I can multiply 7 digit numbers in my head, but I can't even work the telephone! What would I do without you?"
"Great work on drafting that budget analysis. Leave a little early today, lean back, soak up the sun, and just relax. I'll finish the rest of the job alone."
"I need that memo by 5 p.m. sharp."
Lately he's taken to forwarding her numerous e-mails a day with hidden meanings, like "The Wind in the Trees", where "Wind" is code for his penis and "Trees", her vagina. And, of course, I plead with her to forward these things to me as 1. I find them funny and 2. No one's stalked me for ages. I mean the last time a stranger lured me into his van with a comically oversized lollipop was seriously years ago.
But today brought a real doozy to her inbox (so to speak), entitled "Why women think men are immature". This blog usually keeps it classy/freaky, and tries its best to avoid toilet humor, but given the context of the story, and the pictures that follow, I couldn't resist. Clearly, these pictures must indicate something work-related that he needs her to get done, right? Camman - they're completely professional! Let's take a look and analyze their business meanings, shall we?
"Pizza party in the conference room for Harold's 46th birthday. Topsiders optional."
"Thanks for your support on that conference call yesterday... I can multiply 7 digit numbers in my head, but I can't even work the telephone! What would I do without you?"
"Great work on drafting that budget analysis. Leave a little early today, lean back, soak up the sun, and just relax. I'll finish the rest of the job alone."
"I need that memo by 5 p.m. sharp."
posted by Michelle Collins on
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
