Friday, January 27, 2006

And The Oscar Goes To...

I'm back to buying the New York Post in the mornings. Sure, I went through a big book reading phase recently, and I did learn something. I learned that I find the police blotter more interesting, Page Six more scandalizing, and Su Doku more autisticly satisfying than any of the books I'd polished off.

Friends chastise me for buying the paper, known for its extremely conservative viewpoints, to which I'll nod in agreement, very seriously, brows furrowed, while sloooooowly pull out a folded piece of paper from my back pocket, unfolding it to reveal...

TA DA!!! One of the Post's many to die for headlines. For the record, that's not me in the picture, however I swear to you I have a clipping of that very article sitting in a folder at home, along with the headline "Stop Or I'll Scoot" (cop riding a Segway with a huge smile on his face), and my personal favorite, during a stock market slump: "How Now Down Dow?"

To boil a long, complicated story down to 3 to 4 poorly written, slopped together paragraphs, I adore the New York Post, while simultaneously hating it. But like a crack dealer offering you a taste for only $.25, I come back day in, day out.

And thank God I do.

Because today's movie reviews outdid themselves. Don't bother reading the review itself. Just let everything about this image sink in:

There is something so inherently sad about this juxtaposition. Here's a funny guy, Martin Lawrence, giving it his all to make America laugh, in a picture that says it all (fat suit, strain on face, high leg kick), placed next to one critic's swift yet harsh judgment: ZERO STARS. I laughed for 45 straight minutes. (click pic to enlarge)

Now this review had me wondering. It's nice to see Martin back to his old antics and all, but...

Update: A lovely reader writes in to tell me: "Tichina Arnolds (aka Pam) is the mom in Everybody Hates Chris!" Oh! I'm dying to see that show, but still have no idea what night it airs. Checking IMDB, I see that even Reginald Ballard, the actor who played the nefarious neighbor "Brother Man", has also made a nice little career for himself. Who knew?

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