Thursday, March 23, 2006

Battle of the Carol Seavers

If you're a child of the 80's, as I was, certain shows were all over your radar. Silver Spoons, Out of This World, Mr. Belvedere, Family Ties... I don't think I need to remind you just how great sitcoms used to be. (Summed up in three words: Child Robot Maid. See also, Small Wonder.)

I will say, she was an excellent actress.

It wasn't until a few days ago, however, that the joyful and delicious memories of 80's television came crashing down around me.

Before I say anything, let's play a little game that will probably look familiar to you if you're an avid Highlights reader, as I am. It's called "Find the Differences." OK, here we go:

Picture Number 1

(blink hard to clear your brain)

Picture Number 2


(17 seconds of Googling later...)

You guys. This is CRAY. Turns out, the original Carol Seaver was named Elizabeth Ward. After showing the pilot to test audiences, they recast Tracey Gold in her place. That must have been heartbreaking, no? I mean, Carol on Growing Pains is the role of a lifetime! Can you imagine -- you're 15 years old, your acting career is about to take off, and then they fire you because some prick in a test audience didn't think you were pretty enough.

Shame. Real shame.

I wonder what Elizabeth Ward went on to accomplish...

Miss Arkansas, 1982

Miss America, 1982

May 1992 Playboy Playmate

1983 One-Night Stand with Bill Clinton

Read all about her on her Wikipedia page.

And what of Tracey Gold?

1992, Nearly Dies from Anorexia

2004, Contestant on "Celebrity Mole 2: Yucatan" (along with Corbin Bernsen and Stephen Baldwin)

2004, Injures her children (one seriously) while Driving Under the Influence.

April 2005, Tearily confesses all of her sins on Oprah.

So who's the winner of the "Battle of the Carol Seavers"©?

Clearly Elizabeth Ward. SHE HAD A ONE NIGHT STAND WITH BILL CLINTON PEOPLE. It begins and ends there.

With thanks to the lovely Garth Johnston for his heartfelt e-mails and daily mindgasms.

UPDATE! I knew this post would be highly controversial, but little did I know how much commotion it would stir. Turns out, it isn't the same Elizabeth Ward. (Someone should really fix that Wikipedia entry, I swear!) Growing Pains Elizabeth Ward went on to do... well... nothing. The subject of Bill Clinton's playful date rape, on the other hand, is an entirely different Elizabeth Ward.

So, with these new details now known, I must recrown a new winner in the "Battle of the Carol Seavers". Congratulations Tracey Gold! How bout celebrating with a nice cold bucket of merlot?

© youcantmakeitup - Design by birdbranch
Site Meter