Uptown Hallucinations

Huh. I never even knew it was a Special Olympics event. Strange.

Walking to the train this morning, I saw something startling.

A boy was riding his unicycle to school.

I watched as his path wobbled left and right, his feet pedalling clockwise, clockwise, counter-clockwise, his arms stretched out like an injured, mongoloidy bird about to take flight. I jumped out of his way, as he continued up Broadway, alone, cycling along.

And I thought to myself:

That's it, Collins. You've finally cracked. Why, God? Why now?

Then I saw an old black man catch sight of this spectacle, and nearly drop his bag from shock. And I knew it wasn't just me.

Then I thought. Wait. This kid is riding his unicycle to school? What kind of parent would allow their kid to invite a one-wheeled ass-beating from the other kids? As though the fact that the kid looked partially disabled even if he was walking on two legs wasn't bad enough.


"But Papa, I don't want to ride my unicycle to school!"
"You will-a ride-a you unicycle to school, because I used to when I was a boy, and so did my Papa, and so did his Papa! Now get-a you balancing stick and getta out! You gonna be a-late!"

Also, he was like 9 years old, and seemingly all alone. What happened - was his Dad too busy hang-gliding to work to take in little Johnny?

I'm worried about this little boy.


Everything that's happening in this picture makes me question my sanity.