Monday, August 02, 2004

So I asked a terrorist how his day was going...

...and he said business was booming!

In a related story, a man in Georgia is in police pus-tody today, after the front of his pants exploded while filling out some precinct paperwork.

The man, arrested on charges he manufactured methamphetamines, shoved a film canister filled with red phosphorous and iodine in his pocket. The next thing he knew, he had blown his balls clean off. Police were so busy laughing, they could hardly hear his excrutiating cries of pain. He was later charged with being a "Huge Fucking Moron."

I nominate this man to be our next "This is Your Brain on Drugs" spokesperson:

Man: (sitting in chair, reading The Financial Times, speaking in British accent) This is your brain.

(5 seconds later, his pants explode, and his testicles fly off.)

Man: (crouched over on the ground with bloody hand to crotch) THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON DRUUUUUUUUUGS!! Oh God.... Someone (panting), call 911. (Loud sobbing)

(screen turns to black, with small white lettering: "any questions?"

Man charged with meth manufacture after pants explode

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