You Have the Right to Remain Delicious

I swear to you, if you read this blog, I am making this REQUIRED reading/viewing.

TROOPERS TERRORIZED BY WILD TURKEYS

and the accompanying VIDEO FOOTAGE.

I first caught wind of this fiasco on the Today show this morning. Which reminds me...

AN OPEN LETTER TO THE TODAY SHOW



Dear Today Show,

I just wanted to thank you for your highly informative special this week about germs and bacteria, and how we can prevent ourselves from being infested with disease. From the hand washing lesson (30 seconds of lather, 30 seconds of rinsing), to the "only wear your pajamas once, then wash them" rule, to the whole "things that grow on your towel" segment, I am truly a changed woman. A paper-pajama wearing, raw-handed, air-drying woman.

Oh, and thanks for the tip about Clorox Wipes at the work place. I've wiped every single thing down (pens, stapler, foam cubicle divider -- everything but my panicked expression) and have rubber banded a single, moist towelette around my face to avoid breathing in any toxins. Katie, Matt, Al, Ann, you are a most informative, sleek-looking group of miscreants. May the Apocalypse not forget about you.

Disinfectigly yours,
Michelle