Mary-Kate Olsen Get Well Gift Guide

As most of you know, American's beloved doppleganger, Mary-Kate Olsen, recently checked into a hospital for what my sources have confirmed is an eating disorder. This sexy-rexy may be a billionairess, but she is still going to need some cheering up. Below are some suggestions that might make this little anorexic who has everything feel a notch or two better.

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1. 6-Ply Cashmere Turtleneck
If there's one thing this little stick-bug is gonna need inside that dreary hospital, it's the warmest sweater money can buy. Watch as she pulls the sleeves over her hands while cupping a hot water with lemon. She may be sick, but she looks damn good!
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2. 18K Gold "Hang In There" Necklace
Here's the perfect way to let Mary-Kate know "Hey! You'll pull through this! Just HANG IN THERE! Don't die on us, ok?"
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3. Butter
To ensure her survival.

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4. Gorgeous Thick Human Hair
No nourishment = major hairloss. Skip out on that bedazzled doo rag and opt instead for this luscious wig, perfect for those glamorous Hollywood outings and group therapy sessions.

UPDATE***UPDATE***UPDATE***UPDATE***UPDATE**
It's cocaine. It's not an eating disorder, she's in rehab for a rabid cocaine addiction.

Instead of tossing the above list to the wind, apply it to a friend or loved one who is undoubtedly riddled with self-hate. And stay tuned for an updated guide...