Whatever Happened To: Edie McClurg?

America is in desperate need of a funny fat woman. Roseanne Barr (big fan) is passe, Rosie O'Donnell is obviously the worst (not counting Another Stakeout, which is primarily funny thanks to the genius comic stylings of Dreyfus/Ethtebeth), and Mama Cass, while never necessarily a comedienne, is most definitely dead.

Then it occurred to me... Whatever happened to Edie McClurg?

Edie McClurg was an icon, one of many faces that has faded post-1989 (Rick Moranis on Line 2). And why? McClurg's brand of humor was unique, from syrupy sweet southern charm to a two-faced bitch on wheels. From Grace, the plucky secretary in Ferris Bueller's Day Off, to Bonnie Brindle, on Small Wonder, to the annoying yet loveable Patty Poole on "Valerie" cum "The Hogan Family".

And how is Hollywood using this genius? In straight-to-video thrillers such as To Kill a Mockumentary and the 2003 sleeper bomb Fish Without A Bicycle (which I hear is almost as good as Goddamn, Parrot, That's A Sweet Ride!)

Well, I, for one, am appalled. From hereforth hencewith, I propose banding together to form the "I Needie More Edie" Campaign. I'll be the President. The t-shirts alone will clearly be snatched up by Urban Outfitters, and my talk show circuit run would be ginormous (Can anyone say Livin It Up with Ali and Jack? I can.)

Who's with me? Write to MichCollinz-mail@yahoo.com, and let's make something happen, yes?