Cyster Soldier

Can somebody please, please explain to me why, every 28 days or so, my body decides to implant a 12 pound cyst deep in the recesses of my facial tissues, a lump so painful and distracting that all I can do, all day long, is picture this little lady setting up shop in my jowels:


What are you so fucking happy about? Asshole.

Perhaps these women can answer my question? And why do they call it MEN-struation? Shouldn't it be WOMEN-struation? And what about GUY-necology? Shouldn't it be GAL-necology? Excuse me for a second...


By the way, one of my favorite paintings ever, The Death of Marat, by Jacques-Louis David. The backstory here.