Friday, March 04, 2005

Kicking the Hobbit

Elijah "Getting" Wood

It's official: Elijah Wood is millions of years young.

Scientists have discovered the fossilized remains of hobbit like creatures living in Southeast Asia over 1 million years ago. It is not known if the hobbits could make tools, not to mention be huge ones. What is known about these tiny creatures is they can sell a movie ticket. I'm no scientist, and even I could tell you that.

Me camping out 18 days before the opening of LOTR:TFOTR, not so much a movie as it is God speaking to me through cinema.

In an unrelated story,
a woman is making headlines today for driving 10 miles with her cat, Cuddle Bug, stuck on the roof of her car. Even while stopping for gas, she didn't notice the lil' guy up there. What the police didn't tell you is that her 3-year-old toddler was clinging to the bottom of the vehicle, Cape Fear like, in order to get some fresh air from the Feline Fecal palace I imagine he's growing up in.

Someone get that muthafuckin' cat some muthafuckin' earmuffs, yo! It be cold!

Finally, thanks to CBS News for the most intriguing headline of the week:
Goat Whacked For Crack

MOUNT PLEASANT, Pa. - Four men stole, killed and butchered a goat so they could trade its meat for crack cocaine, police said.

It gets a little more graphic after that, but yoy, a poor little goat, whacked for crack at the age of 3.

Hey kids, cra-a-a-ck is wha-a-a-ack. (pause) Got any cans?

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