Thursday, February 24, 2005

The 2 Minute News

- Spermanent Scarring: A woman saves a man's sperm and impregnates herself with it. She apparently told the Judge "Them sperms is mines to keep", and is able to get away with it. Men, take this as a lesson: always snowball to cover yourself.

- Give the guy a break: Someone told him hamburgers were covered in fur and your best friend.

They really are brilliantly delicious dogs. Speaking of which...

- Hey Illiteracy! Get to the back of the bus, now!

- Someone call Mother and wash her hairnet. I've found the ideal job for her: "Schools Rationing Out Food to Fat Kids." Verbal abuse is legal in Singapore, right?

- Pammy told Gina who told Carl who told Susie who told Paul who told my neighbor who told me that this dog is such a slut.

- And finally: 8-Bit Tattoos. Just in case you needed to personify Zelda and his/her elfin "Legend of the Wireframe Glasses".

I'm not saying I'm for these tattoos, but out of all of them, I can almost understand this one.

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