Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Today's YCMIU Weather Report

Brought to you by Channel 13's Own Meteor-Blog-ical Team:

Decker: (Deep and anchory) Good afternoon, this is Channel 13's Action Weather. I'm Decker --

Storm: (falsetto) And I'm Storm --

Decker: And here's your weather report for today, June 7, 2005.

Storm: There are some (sung) "Hot Hot Hot" temps in the Northeast today, Deck!

Decker: That's right. We're seeing the barometer rise to nearly 90 degrees in New York City, with sidewalks shooting up to the upper 90's. So get your sneakers on, folks, you don't want to be walking barefoot in these kind of temperatures.

Storm: Decker, did New York even have a spring this year?

Decker: No, no they did not.

Storm: Fascinating. Let's take a look at the weather map for today --

We're seeing a lot of shower activity in the Southeast today -- make sure to take an umbrella if you plan on not taking a sick day from work, like some people, right Deck?

Decker: That's right, it seems like some of us couldn't get out of bed after a certain bachelor party last night (coughs) *Jorge*.

Best of luck with the wedding, lil' guy.

Storm: We're getting word of some extreme thunderstorms happening in Southern California. Let's go live to Channel 13's owned Raven Hunter.

Raven: Thank you, Storm. I'm here on the scene, and let me tell you, it's rainin' alright. Let's take a look at the map --

This is where it's raining. Also, further down.

In fact, we're getting reports that the downpour is so bad, a few dogs are simply closing their eyes and turning around... in the driver's seat.

Please, if you're in your car, keep your eyes on the road. You are impervious to lightning thanks to your rubber tires. Our electronic indicators assure us the weather will get better eventually, but until then, make sure to leave your house with the appropriate protection.

Raven: Decker?

Decker: That was Raven Hunter, live on the scene in California. Best of luck to you, Raven, that looked (pause) pretty rainy.

Storm: Rainy, indeed, Decker. That's pretty much it for today's weather, unless you want to add any--

Decker: No, I think I got everything in--

Storm: Cause we have another few seconds--

Decker: Do we? Um... (pencil tapping against desk) Doo, Doo, Doo...... huh. (pause) I got a new DVD player last night.

Storm: Oh yeah?

Decker: Yup. Panasonic, slim-lined, pretty good deal... progessive scan...

Storm: What is progressive scan, anyway?

Decker: You know... I don't know!

Storm: (to audience, laughing) Does anyone? (looking around) Does anyone out there know what progressive scan is?

Decker: (laughter dying) No, of course they don't.

Storm: On a more serious note, we'd like to extend our condolences to the family of Lark McGrath, a meteologist with Channel 13 since it's launch in 1995.

Decker: Lark was my mentor, he was a father, a great father, he was, simply (pause) weather's best friend. Lark McGrath, put to sleep from cirrhosis of the liver, was 12 years old.

Storm: We'll miss you, Lark.

Decker: Indeed. For Channel 13's weather, I'm Decker --

Storm: And I'm Storm.

Decker: We'll see you tomorrow folks.

Lark McGrath: 1993-2005

© youcantmakeitup - Design by birdbranch
Site Meter