Monday, November 13, 2006

Define Yourself

Last night I was directed to a new website called Hetemeel, which offered a feature allowing one to define something anyway they wished, and include a picture. (The site appears to be down right now...) It's fun for about 2 minutes, when it officially gets old. Which is right about the time I discovered the best feature of the program: The website made it possible to view other people's definitions. Not realizing the platter of hilarity just served to me, I clicked on a random one. This was what I found:

Well, it seems that Chelsea holds herself in quite the high regard, doesn't it? Also, for those curious about, it appears to be a site that doles out awards to cars that have come back from the future.

I was intrigued. Here it was, a way for humans to define themselves in a single blurb! I clicked on yet another entry:

Awesome! A wiccan sex writer who hearts vampired and Marvin Gaye! This is the most fun I've ever had... even more fun than when I learned how to tie nautical knots.

Many clicks later, and I noticed some trends. The most popular one being defining some sort of dirty or demeaning word (i.e. Dickface), and then plugging in someone's name and pic as part of that definition. It started out funny enough:

But then grew tiring:

Then there were those people who clearly didn't realize their definition would be available to the public. Take these characters, Henny Youngman:

The above blurb also defines the meaning of "I feel disturbed and uncomfortable." What about this cooz:

Nice glamour shot, Sar. I particularly enjoy the dichotomy of this girl: She'll leave you in a second, but when you're with her, be sensitive and caring. She's not Fisher Price, so don't kick her down the stairs, gentlemen. This girl looks like someone I could be friends with:

My friends used to call me Jazzy too! Well, before the accident (Momma says my legs will work again soon enough.) I also caught wind of Burger King's new spokesman:

Finally, I'm taking this dude on just because it amazes me that someone who is so clearly clinically insane also knows how to use semi-complicated programs on the internet:

Though, to his credit, the Alligator Fuckhouse is

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