Break-In of a Different Elk

This elk really crossed the Finnish line. A toddler was slightly injured as a local Finnish elk busted through his window, crushing the boy's bed, but only scratching his cheek.

The boy's mother knew there was something wrong when she opened up her bedroom door and "was shocked to find the beast in her bed." That's the same way I felt when Gary Sinise decided to surprise me with a post-work "Afternoon Delight."

Close Call for Toddler as Elk Crushes Bed

In a related story, my birthday isn't too far off, gentlemen. Not that I expect you to get me anything.... we've only just met!! But you know what they say: the way to a woman's heart is through her black, corroded lungs.

Genuine Elk Foot Ashtray