Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Mary-Kate Olsen Get Well Gift Guide, V. 2

Fans, you asked for it, you have it.

As reported previously, Mary-Kate Olsen has been sent to rehab for her voracious cocaine appetite. What follows are some gift ideas to send to MKO in her time of need.

1. Tissue Box Cover
Lilting and feminine, she'll think of you every time she reaches for an Egyptian Cotton disposable hanky. Every recovering coke head's first choice. (trust me.)

2. Skip It
A.k.a. "The Ball and Chain of My Childhood", this is the perfect sport to keep those with "the shakes" occupied and happy for hours. Now, when she's "hopped up", it'll have a totally different meaning. And I'm sure she'd appreciate that.

3. Vazline
Keeps those nostrils moist, not to mention those teeth gleaming for lurking, blood-hungry paparazzi.

4. The Taboo Broadway Soundtrack
Because nothing says "Put Down The Fucking Coke" better than a shitty Broadway musical about Boy George and drug addiction. She has to learn her lesson somehow.

5. Razor Scooter
Stop cutting up white lines, and start scooting your way back to health! It'll really bring out the kid in her. Not to mention these things are so hot right now.

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