Tom Cruisin' for Love

CNN.com reports this breaking story today: Tom Cruise is Ready to Fall In Love Again.

Some gems from the article:

"I will never be down with love. Ever. I'm the guy who loves relationships. I love women," the 42-year-old actor was quoted as saying...

...while taking it up the ass from a huge black man.

"I'm the guy who's going to get married again. I'm not going to give up on that. I really love that kind of friendship and intimacy," said Cruise, who split from his girlfriend, actress Penelope Cruz, earlier this year.

He continued, whilst adjusting his French Maids costume, grabbing a huge feather duster, and tap dancing to Shirley Bassey.

"I like riding motorcycles and flying aeroplanes and I want someone who's going to enjoy doing the things I enjoy."

No problem there. Check out this hottie. She's perfect for you.

Seriously, his publicist should tell him that if he wants to continue this little game of his, he should stop acting like such a yuge queeah.