Friday, September 16, 2005

Rabies R Us

I'm in bed right now, recovering from a dog bite that occurred last night in Soho. A man who lived in a van had tied his three dogs to a fence, and as I walked by, one of them sank his teeth into my thigh, tearing the skin and leaving an unsightly gash/bruise. I'm still on the case, there are a lot of questions I have, and while I went to the hospital, and all the doctors said I didn't need a rabies shot, my own paranoia along with a healthy dose of parental overreacting has left me thinking that I'll be foaming at the mouth and dead around 3 weeks from now. Man in the van, if you have wireless connection and find out your dog is in fact the rabid motherfucker I truly believe it to be, e-mail me at

The story is dense and multi-faceted, involving adorable EMT and police officers, my friend Becca who got to turn on the siren (everyone cheer for Becca, she stayed with me the whole night and didn't complain!), and the character I'm planning on basing my one woman show on, "Sheila the Junkie". It will be about a junkie from Florida who doesn't wear any shoes, throws violent tantrums, and curses at the doctors (Tony award winning line: "I'll rent space in your head all night, bitch"). The night ended with me waiting 25 minutes for a cab, and having David Byrne from the Talking Heads make a left turn around me on his bicycle, a fitting ending to an extremely surreal night. And yes, if you were wondering, he's extremely attractive.

The entire left side of my body feels bruised... ps anyone out there ever get rabies shots? Any docs in ze haus? Get in touch if you strongly feel I should get the rabies shots after all. (And p.s., yes I disabled my comments, so if you thought it was personal, it wasn't!) As I type this I feel like my tongue is swelling up and I can't breathe -- is that normal?


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