Monday, March 13, 2006

VH1 Tonight... Oh, And I'm Hott In Sweden

"Tillbaka For En Trippel" must translate to "Tillbaka and the Purple Curtain of Doom."

This weekend, I received an e-mail from a very helpful Swede named Lina, who informed me that my blog was mentioned in Sweden's biggest newspaper. "Could it be?" I wondered while competitively eating miniature meatballs in a race against death. Me? The world's biggest lingonberry fan?? I was skeptical.

I asked Lina if she could possibly send me the link to the article... and she did one better by scanning the paper and sending along a helpful translation. I was on the "Fett" list (what else is new?), "Fett" meaning "Hot" in Swedish. Here's a closeup:

Lina translates: "1. Extreme cutesurfing. If cute kittens are the new porn, what are then cute kittens in casts?" IF CUTE KITTENS ARE THE NEW PORN? What the hellllll am I missing in Sweden? Also, if cute kittens are the new porn, then I should be like the Larry Flynt of the interweb, crippled, bald, wearing a kitten-skin fur unitard, in a house that is essentially an oversized basket with soft blankets inside.

One other interesting thing to note is that Animals in Casts is "Hotter" than Jon Stewart hosting the Oscars! If you notice my glow today, understand that it is partly due to being hotter than Jon Stewart in Sweden, and partly due to an inch-layer thick coating of Nars shimmer stick.

Also! If you're around at 10 pm tonight (or at noon for that matter), I'll be appearing on VH1's The Greatest 20 Celebreality Moments. If you've ever wondered what my opinion of Flavor Flave or Mini-Me is, tonight's your night, friend.

That ends today's 5 paragraphs of self-promotion.

And for the record, I think he's hot, but that's only because I watch "Little People, Big World" and view Verne Troyer as a regular guy, not a foot tall drunk infant with claws for hands.

And if you don't want to sit home tonight and watch me in all my basic cable glory? Get out of the house and check out "The Pete and Brian Show". They're hilarious, they're adorable, and it's their last night! So go and support, or stay home and watch VH1.

"The Pete and Brian Show"
The 13th Street Repertory Company
50 West 13th Street (b/t 5th Ave. & 6th Ave.)
only $4.99!

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