Hot Toddies with Hot Boddies

In what may be the most cringe-inducing article of the week, ABCNews.com reports:

Somewhere in Germany is a baby Superman, born in Berlin with bulging arm and leg muscles. Not yet 5, he can hold seven-pound weights with arms extended, something many adults cannot do. He has muscles twice the size of other kids his age and half their body fat. DNA testing showed why: The boy has a genetic mutation that boosts muscle growth.

Something tells me this kid would kick Tobey Maguire's ass in an alley fight. Now that I think of it, I'm guessing an average 5-year-old would kick Tobes' ass. Poor Tobey. Poor, weak, lisping Tobey.

I mean, did you guys catch his interview on Leno the other night? He speaks so. slowly. It's like seeing a turtle watching Meet Joe Black in rush hour traffic. THAT'S HOW SLOW IT IS! Oh god.