Waiter, There's a Fly in My Soup.... HUNDREDS OF FLIES.

Somehow less addictive.

A chain of restaurants in China has been shut down after authorities found cooks mixing opium poppy in their soup. The soup becomes addictive, guaranteeing repeat customers. Not to mention the added bonus of your bowl talking to you, and your chair swallowing your soul.

"This could eventually lead you to drug abuse in serious cases," said national health authority spokesman Wei Tao. (ed note: for added fun, try singing his name to The Surfaris' "Wipeout")

While they're at it, they might want to scan the operations over at the Crystal Light factory. I'll never forget a couple of years ago, waking up in the morning, and not finding an ice cold pitcher of Pink Lemonade waiting for me. I would crawl up the walls! I've since broken that habit, replacing it with the much less addictive alternatives of cigarette smoking and peanut butter.