Tuesday, August 10, 2004

Cheap Shot of the Day Award

Explorers Find World's Deepest Hole. Bea Arthur's vagina is demanding a recount.

I hesitate to even mention this, but hey, if I can't trust a bunch of anonymous people across the country with this information, who can I trust? I'm a little shaken this morning following a certain dream I had last night. An intimate dream. Involving me and.... ROB SCHNEIDER. Yes, THAT Rob Schneider.

What have I done to deserve this God? It all started with a piece of muenster cheese I had before bedtime. I've read that cheese before sleep can cause nightmares. Next thing I know, my warped mind is taking me on an emotional/physical rollercoaster with the D-list celebrity who puts the Rob in "This movie theater just ROBbed me out of 10 bucks", often heard being said after seeing any one of his 3 movies.

The worst part? I THINK I LIKED IT PEOPLE.

Funny bit of trivia: Mr. Schneider was married to a woman named London King for 2 years. One lucky lady.

Admittedly, this pales in comparison to the infamous "John Goodman Dream" of '01, which, as my close friends know, involved one overweight sitcom star and about 10 ounces of his puke. And now I have to stop because my parents read this.

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