Friday, August 05, 2005

Out of Steam, I Riseth

Killer week folks! I've been working triple time. I just had a Mint Mocha Frappucinno at Starbucks, and realized its the same shit my dentist gives me for fluoride. Although my memories kinda fuzzy on that as I haven't been to the dentist in 15 YEARS because my INSURANCE doesn't COVER IT. *pneumonia cough OXFORD INSURANCE pneumonia cough* Oh, and because ya'll wanted a pic of my post-butchering hairdo, here's one I took of me today in the office commissary:

Look ma, no teef.

Also I was faced with quite a dilemma yesterday. The heat index.. that mysterious term weathermen use, where they'll say "The other weathermen would like you to belieeeeve that the temperature is 86 degrees, and sure, that's what your thermometer would say." (Leaning into the cam.) "But the heat index is 93. Bam."... So the heat index is probably One Hundred and Devil Balls degrees. I walk down to the subway platform, where my teva flippies nearly give up existing thanks to the stifling heat. So there I am, waiting, doing my Su Doku puzzle as I do, when the train comes. Thank god! I think. Air conditioning!!! Hoorah!

The doors open, and I step into a kind of heat that I would imagine a Russian man pays big dollars for at Moscow's famous gay steambaths. I am a-shvitzing. I all of a sudden realize my life-long dream of making it into the Madame Taussad's Wax Museum and begin to melt.

Now here's the dilemma: Do I stay in my car, where certain death awaits me, and perhaps a couple of shedded pounds, or do I venture into the next car, where I would have to touch a doorknob famously handled by hundreds of homeless men daily?

Needless to say, I pulled through, got some toxins out, and my hands remained mostly germ free.

Thankfully, the weekend is 5 minutes away. Oh my god, the first thing I'm going to do when I get home is put on a pair of diapers and spoon my Labrador.

I cannot wait.

(with thanks to CP for the pic.)

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