Halloween From Hell
Like many people awkward around douchebags, I hate Halloween. I have two wigs that I alternate each year, a blue and a red, and a variety of ill-fitting garments. My original plan was to be Dakota Fanning, buy a blonde wig, effed-up teeth, devil's horns and wear a girly dress. But once I set foot in the nightmare of all nightmares, Ricky's, the costume mecca which draws rodeoturds from all of the 5 boroughs, I realized I didn't have a spare $7,000 lying around for a one-note joke.
So, instead, I bought a feather boa, and along with some rubber gloves and a feathered shirt, decided to be "The Patron Saint of Proctology." Honestly, I have no clue. Here are some pics I took both on Saturday night, where I spent the night heavily drinking with some buddies who were really in the spirit of things, and last night, where I was Chelsea Peretti's "plus one" at the Fischerspooner show at Irving Plaza. We almost went as a "Fisher" and a "Spooner", but again: $$$$$$.
All of my friends in their retarded glory. From left: Julia as Leona Helmsley, Nellie as Jane Goodall, Gabe as Steven Spielberg, Lang as Flea, Eli as Napoleon (although he insisted he was some kind of Colonel blal blah he's Napoleon), and Becca as Lorraine McFly.
Me Eli and Lang. Somehow, my boa "accidentally" ended up around Eli's neck, where it comfortably remained the entire eve.
I'm sorry, did I say Napoleon? I meant Douchey Arsenio Hall. No offense Arse.
"Sheen on me".
Moving on...
Jenny as Jasmine with candy-corn teef. As for her counterpart Mike Barry...
... I mean Aladdin. Lorraine McFly is all "Cheers", while Aladdin is all "Stop knocking my hat off Michelle - God!" Still, so cute.
Flea and Anthony Kiedis. A cardboard guitar never sounded more... fake.
ON TO FISCHERSPOONER:
Here's Chelsea as her costume of choice: An FIT student. She told me costumes were mandatory so I decided to go as.... you guessed it...
A tranny from Nighmare Town, population 1: Me.
Feigning enthusiasm before the show.
It wouldn't be Halloween without at least one picture of "model face".
Here's Jessica Delfino, one of the lead singers of "The Haunted Pussy", which was one of the opening acts for F-Spoon. They were amazing, and I haven't gotten the tune "Have You Ever Been Raped By A Ghost" out of my head since.
The most hilarious gay goat ever.
During the long and plentiful intermissions, Chelsea and I feign hyper-excitement. The moment the flashbulb was over, I was back to my original Halloween costume face: Grimace And guess who WASN'T so amused with our goings-on... Stoic-Faced McGinty behind me..
Ghosts...
...who were naked underneath!! This awesome group of dancers got kicked out of the venue for getting naked on stage.
Don't ask. Amazingtown.
The costume contest: Candelabra-Head, Karl Lagerfeld, and the ultimate winner(s) "The Gates" in the background.
FINALLY: Fischerspooner. We left halfway through because, well, I was raped by a ghost. 2 MUCH 2 HANDLE. (Picture via Chelsea, who has some more shots up on her blog.)
Two druuuuuunk trannies, at our late night dinner location after. Guess which one spilled his entire martini on me after I took the shot? You guessed it -- the drunk one. The perf way to end the nigh.
WHY. (Thanks to Petsmart for an amazing laugh.)
So, instead, I bought a feather boa, and along with some rubber gloves and a feathered shirt, decided to be "The Patron Saint of Proctology." Honestly, I have no clue. Here are some pics I took both on Saturday night, where I spent the night heavily drinking with some buddies who were really in the spirit of things, and last night, where I was Chelsea Peretti's "plus one" at the Fischerspooner show at Irving Plaza. We almost went as a "Fisher" and a "Spooner", but again: $$$$$$.
All of my friends in their retarded glory. From left: Julia as Leona Helmsley, Nellie as Jane Goodall, Gabe as Steven Spielberg, Lang as Flea, Eli as Napoleon (although he insisted he was some kind of Colonel blal blah he's Napoleon), and Becca as Lorraine McFly.
Me Eli and Lang. Somehow, my boa "accidentally" ended up around Eli's neck, where it comfortably remained the entire eve.
I'm sorry, did I say Napoleon? I meant Douchey Arsenio Hall. No offense Arse.
"Sheen on me".
Moving on...
Jenny as Jasmine with candy-corn teef. As for her counterpart Mike Barry...
... I mean Aladdin. Lorraine McFly is all "Cheers", while Aladdin is all "Stop knocking my hat off Michelle - God!" Still, so cute.
Flea and Anthony Kiedis. A cardboard guitar never sounded more... fake.
ON TO FISCHERSPOONER:
Here's Chelsea as her costume of choice: An FIT student. She told me costumes were mandatory so I decided to go as.... you guessed it...
A tranny from Nighmare Town, population 1: Me.
Feigning enthusiasm before the show.
It wouldn't be Halloween without at least one picture of "model face".
Here's Jessica Delfino, one of the lead singers of "The Haunted Pussy", which was one of the opening acts for F-Spoon. They were amazing, and I haven't gotten the tune "Have You Ever Been Raped By A Ghost" out of my head since.
The most hilarious gay goat ever.
During the long and plentiful intermissions, Chelsea and I feign hyper-excitement. The moment the flashbulb was over, I was back to my original Halloween costume face: Grimace And guess who WASN'T so amused with our goings-on... Stoic-Faced McGinty behind me..
Ghosts...
...who were naked underneath!! This awesome group of dancers got kicked out of the venue for getting naked on stage.
Don't ask. Amazingtown.
The costume contest: Candelabra-Head, Karl Lagerfeld, and the ultimate winner(s) "The Gates" in the background.
FINALLY: Fischerspooner. We left halfway through because, well, I was raped by a ghost. 2 MUCH 2 HANDLE. (Picture via Chelsea, who has some more shots up on her blog.)
Two druuuuuunk trannies, at our late night dinner location after. Guess which one spilled his entire martini on me after I took the shot? You guessed it -- the drunk one. The perf way to end the nigh.
WHY. (Thanks to Petsmart for an amazing laugh.)
posted by Michelle Collins on
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
