Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Tiny Blazers!!

What my child's ultrasound will look like.

Here's a little peek into my maternal instincts. I like children. I'm not crazy about them, for example, I don't feel the same way about a little girl as I do about a long-haired chihuahua, but if they're cute enough, I dig 'em.

A few years ago, my friend Will told me he thought I'd make a great Mom. This meant a lot to me, as at the time I was almost fully emotionally shut off from the world. He told me that I'd be the type of mother who would dress her kid up in a tiny leopard fur coat, with red galoshes, and then buy the matching outfit for myself, and just parade my baby around in a mini-outfit of what I was wearing. No statement has ever been truer. One of the main reasons I want children is to dress them up like morons and/or raise them into direct facsimiles of myself. Even still, it is rare that I'll see a little baby or small child and think "I want one of those right now!!!!"

Until this morning.

I am such a card, I swear.

This morning, a woman got on the subway with her little boy. She was in her early 40's, wearing unflattering jogging gear and a fanny pack. But her little boy!!! You guys, I could not take my eyes off him. A perfect little face!! Sweet as candy!! Obviously bright (a trait I measure by the sparkle in one's eye.) But the best part is...

He was wearing a tiny, tiny navy blue blazer with a gold button!!


Even littler!!

My ovaries are doing the wave, ya'll! This morning I decided that I just want to have a little boy so I can A. turn him into a genius and B. dress him up in formal wear EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR. Because...

...the only thing I like better than a small, long-legged, hermy looking aryan boy in formal shorts is...

...a chihuahua named Dinky getting married.

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