Monday, August 16, 2004

Skiddamarinky Linky Link

Like any logical human being, you would think that when the boss is out, it would be smooth sailing. In my case, I get to do all the shit work that everyone else avoids.

Don't fret. Here's the weird news rundown for the day, albeit slightly abridged.

Blind Woman Ticketed For Displaying Handicapped Sign the Wrong Way. Then, her seeing eye dog was poo-pooed for licking his balls, and her walking stick was cited for "rat-a-tat-tatting" a few decibels too loud, as well as "helping her in her quest not to be killed or die".

A Man being chased by police, drove his car into a lake, and rather then surrendering, tried to light a crack pipe instead. In a related story, Rick James dead of natural causes.

Vintage Organ for sale. So all you thrifty, trendy liver/pancreas shoppers out there, take note.

Plus, ever wished you could trade some good ol' kitchen cleaning for a man with golden hands? NOW YOU CAN.

HOLY SHIT. A limbless woman was kept off an Air France Flight after a sensitive stewardess told her that a "torso cannot possibly fly on its own." I don't know about that -- I imagine it would fit quite snuggly into the overhead bins. Also, while a torso can't per se "fly" on its own, I'm pretty sure modern science can have one hang-glide or parachute with little to no assistance. (Once again, people, God will have the last laugh when 10 years from now I give birth to a litter of chicken nuggets.)

Serial Snuggler Sentenced. Police release photo of criminal behind bars:




Let the nightmares begin.


 
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