The Froogle Gourmet

The weather is a-changing, and my fleece from last winter looks as though it was culled from the ass of a dead sheep. So, I clicked on my favorite digital bookmark, Froogle, and typed in "black fleece fitted", because "Bill Cosby's Sweater" didn't return any results.

The problem is there are so many results, I'm having trouble picking out which one suits me best. Can you guys help me pick one out?? Here are the actual results, in no particular order other than the one I created subconsciously:


I really like this one right off the bat. There's nothing worse than below-zero windchill hitting your face, and I like that it doesn't impede my peripheral vision. It would also look great with boots. The only problem I have with it are the two logos printed, one on the back, the other on the chest. I am soooo not a label whore, so that's really not me.


Here's a close-up of the face. Great model, p.s., she looks very familiar. Just realized -- this would also make a GREAT Halloween costume -- I could be a bank robber!


Here they really threw me a curveball. Black or blue? I think the black is more slimming, but blue might add that certain "Joie de Vivre" that so many horse sweatshirts are missing these days.



Thank god! The perfect shoes. They're a little "Bo Ho", but the sherpa lining will keep me toasty through long, romantic strolls in Central Park.


Hmmm... this is actually more what I'm looking for. More fitted, a little more cazh... on second thought...


THIS HORSE LOOKS TERRIFIED.


Hmm... this horse looks pretty smart. Maybe I should just go the whole nine tards and splurge for some "Haute Manure" from the Farmani line... If only I could get that raise! And it must be a ladies coat, right? Look how that steed crosses her hooves... Class painted upwards and down.

Well I could sit here and debate it all day, or just get down to business and buy this helpful guide:


Yes, this should work out just fine.

p.s. My debut album shall be entitled "The Bigger, The Bette Midler"
p.p.s. Do you think when Zombies IM each other, "ROTFL" means "Ripping Out The Fleshy Lining"?