Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Anderson Cooper: Gay or Flaming?

Anderson Cooper appeared on Conan tonight, and he's still keeping us ladies guessing: Is he gay, or a yoooooooge queeah? Now, admittedly, I only caught the last minute of his inty, but note the two topics of convo from America's Most Famous Husky:

Point 1: Anderson begins speaking of a Latin fortune teller named Walter Mercado, who "fascinates" him. Sr. Mercado is a fortune teller on Univision, more specifically "Primer Impacto!", and Anderson does a pretty good job of describing him: A botoxed Liberace. Here's a pic:

Dear Opus Dei: Did somebody say "New Pope"? Well I just did.

Point 2: Anderson launches into a tirade about the only other show he watches... MY SUPER SWEET 16 on MTV. Apparently, he's seen every episode. He adamantly states at least 3 or 4 times "Those people should be shot." And he's not far off. He then went on to impersonate some 16 year old girls, and let's just say he was very. convincing. Nevertheless, can't you just picture Anderson, all curled up with his chinchilla Prada throw, wearing mandals, capris, a wifebeater, drinking a Bawls, watching My Super Sweet 16... it's a shame he's so faggy, cause he's pretty much my perfect man. Really, I'm a big fan. But enough with this teasing Andy. If Brit's got a bun in her oven, just fess up about what's going in your buns and let's call it a gay. Would anyone be interested in buying t-shirts that said "Anderson Cooper's Cooped Up in My Poopshoot"? I'll get the printing presses warmed.

The best part about Google Image searching Anderson Cooper before bedtime: Dreamtime! The worst part about the above picture -- you know the clowns are gonna end up raping me in said "dream".

Guess which one I wanna put a leash on and take around the block a few times.

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