Friday, September 03, 2004

Labor Pains

Happy Labor Day Weekend! Let's get to it, I ain't got all day.

4FIRSTLY, an uncomfortably long air-kiss from me to President Clinton, who is in the hospital for quadruple bypass surgery. The upside? I hear his nurse has a little bit of a crush on him. The bad news? Here's his nurse:

Oh, President Clinton! Are you... are you having a leg cramp?! OK, why don't I go ahead and massage it, that should take care of it. There you go... (whispering) there you go.

4Joan Rivers claims she hasn't had that much plastic surgery. Have you seen her lately? She looks better than ever -- and tre' au naturale!

Before and Laughter.

4Urine Great Shape: Drinking a cup of urine a day will help you rid yourself of disease and loved ones.

4Also of note: Robots can break laws???

4Definitely Not Kosher: Austen Gullete, of Louisiana, has a pig problem on his hands... his sister caught him porking their pot-bellied Taiwanese pig "P-Pie". Once discovered, Austen fled into the woods, but physical evidence found on P-Pie (vomit) proves he's guilty. P-Pie is being rehabilitated at the local veterinarian with pillow talk and cigarettes.

4Clear your twisted mind with this video of a dog rolling down a car window in record time.

And a wonderful Labor Day to you all!!

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