Thursday, August 26, 2004

Lunch-Drunk Love

Here is as much weird news my oversized fingers can spit out during my lunch hour:

4A man took the Dairy Queen up on their promotional offer, taking his cow "Bonnie Prince Charles Edward Stuart" to his local shop to earn a free "Moo-latte". I can't wait until Starbucks offers to kill my first born son for a free "Passover-achino."

4Oakey-Cokey: Florida Police are no saps when it comes to a local tree drug dealers routinely gather under. They plan on cutting it down. They then plan on changing the name of the road from "Cypress Street" to "Please Don't Sell Your Drugs Here. Thank You. The Sheriff. Avenue"

4The Tomatino Festival ends in bloodshed.

4Fed-Expatriate: A woman who smuggled herself into the U.S. by packing herself in a cargo box will be allowed to stay, thanks to Immigration's Wet-Foot/Dry-Foot policy. In other words, if a refugee is caught on land, they are allowed to stay in the country, whereas if they are still caught in the water (even the shallow bits), they're sent back. Growing up in Miami, I cannot tell you how exciting it was when a boat full of Cubans would be spotted right off the shore, and IMF Officers would try to tackle them before their feet would hit the sand. People would see it live on the news, and drive to the beach so they could cheer those Cubans who made it to land, embracing them once they managed to scurry past the authorities. It was like some twisted Cuban-American Gladiators, minus the faggy names and oversized Q-Tips.

4Read about the adorable Jake Shimabukuro, aka the "Jimi Hendrix of Ukelele", here. Right. And I'm the Mama Cass of "Giving a Care."

4Italy's Leaning Tower of Pisa has been declared stable. No word yet on the stability of Italy's other treasure, Roberto Benigni.

4Finally, a Metal Song Title Generator worth your time.

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