Monday, May 16, 2005

I'm a Slave 4 U

Move over Maury Povich, there's a new way to torture 18-and-unders in town.

And thy name is Camp Cosby, a YMCA sponsored camp outside where children as young as 10-years old not only learn about slavery, they live it. As slaves. (The article is not to be believed.)

Children who attend this "camp" are poked and prodded by possible buyers, lug firewood into huge piles only to see it knocked down by their "owner", and devise numerous escape plans. The article didn't specify whether or not these young children are raped, maimed and lynched, but something tells me that these Camp Cosby folks aren't mussin about: they're serious.

That's the idea! Show those little bastards what slavery was all about by torturing them. Watch as they run out in tears and insist that their parents sell off their plantations. Just don't give the Germans any ideas for "camps"...

"Hello, mein kleine kinderlach! Velcome to your camp -- zees ees de finest example of ze German dedication to solving all of ze world's problems. First, please drop off your clothes and ze puhsonal pozessions in zees pile. You den.. Ha! I make ze small joke!.. You den go ovah heah to pick up your new flannel work-out gear! Step forward if you are small and weak... ok you sree, go ovah to that line ovah there. God, I have a horrible headache... No it's not a tumah! Achtung!"

"Now which boyz like ze trains? Oh good, a lot of you! We have ze big activity in store - you will make ze train tracks zat our fine german trains will run on! Raise your hands if you love 3 week old bread crusts -- I said raise zem now! Good good, zats all you vill be eating here at camp. We are going to have so much of, how you little Americans say, ze fun?"

Camp Cosby gets MORE offensive: In their PDF synopsis of the slavery day-long get-away (FEEO, of For Educators Eyes Only), they perkily describe the experience in a perkily and overly-exclamation-pointy manner, the worst example being as follows:

It also makes a great Bar Mitzvah theme!

p.s. If you can't afford to send you kid away to slave camp, I redirect you to this educational PBS opportunity to see what life would be like if small slave children had access to the internet. Much less offensive. And if that's "too real" for ya, take this quiz to see how a spoiled little brat lived in the 19th century!

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