Tuesday, August 17, 2004

Kibbles and Bits

Above, the scariest bed set ever made. How do you even fall asleep on a pillow that looks like that?!?!?!

Moving on. King Costco of Bulkravia has decided to add a new section to its giant store full of giant things: Caskets. Well, it's pretty much a guarantee that when you buy a bathtub full of deep-fried clams, you've got about 3 days to live, so good thinking Costco.

(On a side note, I do have a bone to pick with Costco: A few weeks ago I purchased maxi pads there, and when I opened the box, it was just one humongous maxi pad. Reliable for a heavy flow day? Sure. Unnecessary junk in the trunk? Mos Def.)

A Romanian man who took the day off of work on Friday the 13th to avoid any unlucky or fatal encounters, stung by a wasp and killed in his own kitchen.** I was stung by a wasp too one time. We were at the country club, and this bitch slams me in the face with a tennis racket after I beat her in straight sets.

**Note: Previous post more appropriate for an IRONY board!

In other wasp related news, a German trucker, attempting to avoid a painful sting, flips truck over on autobahn, spilling over 15 tons of jam on the highway. (Anyone thinking traffic jam, immediately kill yourself for the sake of humanity.) Really, why all the wasps in Europe? Another ACME-related scheme from Looney Bin Laden?

Ever had that nagging feeling where you just want to rip your eyeballs out of your head? ME NEITHER.

Uch, well I'm all tuckered out. I'm sure there's more weird shit to talk about, but I'm as pooped as a baby diaper made outta manure.

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