Monday, November 15, 2004

Star Jones: Larger than Wife

- CNN has some fun with the Star Jones wedding, publishing this headline: Star Jones Ties Knot -- In a Big Way. Nice way to tie in her obesity, CNN. She will be taking her husband's last name, changing it from Ms. Star Jones to Ms. Star HugeEffeminateGay. USA Today also gets in on the Star-bashing.

UPDATE!: seems to have changed their headline! The new headline reads Star Jones celebrates star-studded wedding. Boe-ring. See the old headline here.

Clearly Ms. HugeEffeminateGay's publicist was on the line ASAP, since God forbid the word "large" or "big" is used to describe anything related to this woman.

- The Post's Cindy Adams, when not inventing laws related to her dead dog Jazzy (i.e. Jazzy's Law, no relation to Jude), remains at the crux of the Middle East crisis and uncovers the secret plot to kill Arafat.

The lovely Cindy Adams with the recently deceased Jazzy, and some sort of gigantic phallus pillow.

- Remember all that Blind Movie Critic business I brought up recently? Well here's his official website. He rated Ladder 49 over pretty much everything else, so you know he's good. Interestingly enough, no review for Ray or Scent of a Woman... seems like someone has issues with his own kind, no? Next up: A deaf review of Elton John's latest single (hint: It's awesome!)

- Most Misleading Headline That Doesn't Sound Like News, Just Something Kinda Sorta Dirty: Trojan Horse Boxes.

- My Beaver is Jealous: Beavers find a bag of stolen money and weave the money into their dam. This sounds like just the time to whip out my beaver costume and put it to good use, work my way into Beaver society, and then once I've got the loot, make some extra dough weaving my way into children's nightmares.

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