Groundhog Day 2005
"I Hereby Henceforth Decree Thou Freeze Thy Balls Off Till March."
Groundhog Predicts 6 More Weeks of Winter
But leave it to Drudge to find some controversy:
Yes, the animal world has been rocked by dueling animal reports on the future of this winter. The article is too good to miss, highlighting various techniques and random animal observations used to confuse commoners for years. The world hasn't been this rocked since Brad and Jen, I swear. Just to be safe, though, I bought $500 in lottery tickets and only scratched the ones my cat sniffed out of the pile, aka "the winning tickets." It was either those tickets or that chinchilla thong from Prada I've been pining after. I've clearly made a terrible decision.